Who Am I? What Kind Of Question Is That?

There is an old joke that goes like this:

Rene Descartes is in a bar. The bar tenders says, “Want another drink?” Descartes says, “I think not.” and he disappears.

The joke intends to be funny for people who know the famous quoted from Mr. Descartes:

"Cogito, ergo sum" Which is Latin for: “I think; therefore I am.” ~Rene Descartes

Descartes phrase was part of his philosophical treatise attempting to prove the existence of God. Apparently he felt that before he could prove God exists he had to prove that he himself existed.

The line is so cute and pithy that it has given birth to a lot of take off lines:

I get mail; therefore I am. ~Scott Adams

I shop, therefore I am. ~Tammy Faye Bakker

I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. ~Craig Bruce

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am... - Ambrose Bierce

I think, therefore I am. I think. - George Carlin

I eat, therefore I am. - Garfield, The Cat

I think therefore I am is the statement of an intellectual who underrates toothaches. - Milan Kundera

I am because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

I think, therefore Descartes exists. - Saul Steinberg

I actually had a tattoo applied to my upper right arm that reads: Cogito Ergo Pingo, which I'm told is Latin for: I think therefore I paint.

There must be several hundred humor attempts based on the Descartes quote. For me, it is not my existence that weighs on my mind, it is my identity. Who am I? What is a person even asking when they ask, “Who am I?”

I’m not asking my name, or who my parents are, so what am I after?

I think I’m wondering is I matter. What is there about me that matters? Do I have value? Am I love-able?

Why am I the way I am? Well, I used to be different. ~Tom Sizemore

But why would anyone ask such a thing? Do we expect mama, or Jesus, or some Guru to step up and whisper some words into our ear and we go “Oooooh,” with an exhaling breath and a smile on our face?

I exist. I’m going to just take that one for granted. At my birth I had the same value and the same worthlessness of any other person that lives or has lived. But if I wanting to know if I matter, or have value, or am important, or lovable, or talented, I won’t find that answer from the words of someone else. My identity is the one I create for myself.

The self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. ~Thomas Szasz

I found a Republican loving satire on the Internet and felt moved to reply to it. The satire is in bold blue type.

I Am Voting Democrat Because ...

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This ain't hell but you can see it from here ^ August 13, 2008
Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 1:43:54 PM by Zakeet

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I’m voting Democrat because: I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

Wrong! Democrats don’t believe they will do a better job of spending your money than you would. Democrats believe that most of us will not spend ANY of our money to help support the costs of our society.

I’m voting Democrat because: I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

This is just stupid. The Constitution built within itself regulations to prevent it from being changed at the whim of a few elitist liberals, or elitist conservatives, or elitist communists, or elitist fascists. Two-thirds of the states have to ratify any proposed change to the constitution. So this attempt at satire is just based on a big ole fear mongering lie.

I’m voting Democrat because: I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

Does the percentage of profit really matter when Exxon’s $40.6 billion profit in 2007 is roughly equal to receiving “$30 for every person in China and $132 for every U.S. resident?” Another way of looking at it is that Exxon made $77,245 per minute in 2007—that’s more money generated per minute than 70 percent of Americans earned all year, Exxon Mobil earned more than $1,287 of profit for every second of 2007. Profit is the point, yes, and business must make profit, but there are factors that, in my opinion, make this level of profit obscene.

I’m voting Democrat because: I believe that paying $4.00 a gallon or more is no reason to drill for the mountain of oil we are sitting on in THIS country. We wouldn’t want to have to move a couple of Polar bears now would we?

This is sarcasm that over-simplifies the problem. Drill. It is fine to drill. But are Republicans saying we should drill at all costs? Polar bears are endanger and could go extinct. Does that matter? Is cheap oil worth spoiling pristine areas that have been protected for future generations? Is there anything on earth worth more than drilling for oil? There are many, including John McCain, that admit that drilling is not going to lower the cost of gas any time soon, probably never, and even if it did, it might not have an impact for 10 years.

I’m voting Democrat because: when we pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re good people.

This is a sad attempt at humor. What we have done in Iraq is created more terrorists. I have seen news stories where US forces enter a house they had just blasted with bombs and bullets, and as they go from room to room we see dead adults, and a boy sitting in a corner clutching his knees and weeping with terror. Now how do you think that kid is going to feel about the US when he grows up? How would we feel if we had experienced what he experienced?

I think, when we leave Iraq we are going to leave hundreds of thousands of people who will hate the US for the rest of their lives, and will take any and every opportunity to hurt us. I also think that the longer we stay there the more we will spread that animosity toward the US. We never should have gone there.

A military response is not right for every problem or issue that takes place on this earth. Many Americans feel that China should free Tibet and that what China does in Tibet is illegal under the International Rule of Law, but we also know that to try to force human rights or political independence in Tibet would result in a war that would be too costly in human life, and national income to risk taking it on. We just should not go to war any time we see an oppressive foreign leader.

I’m voting Democrat because: I like it when planes fly into buildings full of civilians. I want to see more of that.

Give me a F@#kin’ break. No one wants to see anything like 9-11 happening ever again, and to claim Democrats do want to see such a thing is just a disingenuous lie.

I’m voting Democrat because: I don’t want a stimulus check to spend. Let the government spend it for me.

There are benefits and advantages we get from living in a society, but those things are not free. We have roads, bridges, police, firemen, a military, and child protective services because all of us pay in some of our money to provide benefits to every member of that society. Republicans tend to believe that the benefits should be reduced to the bare minimum and the bill should be paid by the poor and middle class. Democrats believe the benefits should be sufficient to the needs of society, and the ticket should be paid by everyone, but that the richest among us should be taxed more than the poorest among us. To a Republican, that sounds horrible. To a Democrat that sounds reasonable.

I’m voting Democrat because: I believe that when the terrorists don’t have to hide from us over there; when they come over here I don’t want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.

Most people thing the right to own a gun is guaranteed by the Second Amendment: The Right to keep and bear arms. The test actually said:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Is that language saying we have the right to an armed Militia to protect a free state, or that anybody and everybody has the right to own weapons? The matter is certainly open to debate. Either way, however, the security of a free State is the purpose of this amendment. Democrats do not support the elimination of security.

While some Democrats support gun control laws, and some support an outright ban on hand-guns being freely available to citizens, there are other Democrats that are support lifting all restrictions on gun ownership. I believe the constitution supported the right for a local militia to have weapons, and is silent as to the average citizen owning a gun.

I’m voting Democrat because: I believe that churches should only be allowed for political speeches.

Democrats started their convention with prayer. Democrats are made up of people, and some of those people are highly religious, and some are not. Hard as it may be for some Republicans to believe, there are actually some Republicans who are not religious, some are actually gay, and some support abortion.

This Economic World Is Coming To An End And I’m Worried

The news on our economy is worrisome because I function within the economy, and if the economy is bad, it’s highly possible that things are going to be bad for me, and for everyone I care about. I am looking for a job, and that is worrisome, or maybe worri-whole-bunches. The way I understand it the Bush administration has asking Congress to let the government buy $700 billion in bad mortgages as a financial bailout. I also understand that this bailout is so huge that the government also has to raise the statutory limitation on our National Debt from $10.6 trillion to $11.3 trillion just to make sure this gigantic rescue is even possible.

If a guy is looking for work and the economic news is so incredibly bleak, it just stands to reason that, for employers, it is a whole lot easier NOT to hire someone than it is to lay people off. Of course the issue is bigger than me, and my little problems.

I believe this big ole need for our government bailing out bad mortgages, and failing insurance companies, and belly up investment firms, is the reason why I am a Democrat. It’s not that I believe the Democrats are perfect. Democrats is just a big ole club, and it is populated with people and people not only make mistakes they also do the wrong thing on purpose sometimes. But the purpose behind the club is what matters to me.

In general, I would describe Republicans as supporting the following:

Less government and fewer regulations
Lower taxes
Trickle-down economics
Privatized Social Security
No National Health care

1. Less government and fewer regulations

Less government and fewer regulations meant that there were fewer people watching the activities of the big business. People were making loans to people who could not afford to repay them, and then the lenders were selling the loans to bigger companies. This means that when the loans go into default the person holding the bad loan is not the same person who lent the money. You could see this as a crime, IF the lender made a bad loan, and knew that he could pass it off to someone else BEFORE the deal goes south.

Isn’t it illegal to sell a product that you know is defective? Well selling bad loans is selling something defective. The problem here is that there is no rule in place to make that practice illegal. Fewer regulations and a smaller government made this bad, should be illegal practice possible.

Democrats believe there should be regulations in place to protect the public, and the Republicans believe in a let-the-buyer-beware, you’re on your own political philosophy.

2. Lower taxes and Trickle-down economics

GW Bush cut taxes to big business, and McCain has said he thought those tax cuts needed to be permanent. McCain may have changed his mind with these recent events, but that remains to be seen. The Republican POV seems to be that IF you let big business alone, deregulate, and allow them to keep more of their profits rather than forcing them to pay taxes, that big business will continue to get bigger, and the bigger and better business is the more money they will have, their big money will trickle down until the lower and middle class are drenched in their excess money.

My experience is that business is in the business of making money. Employees are always the greatest cost to a business, so, to make more money they have to control the cost of wages and benefits going to employees.

Wages and benefits are controlled by:

a) paying as little as possible, and cutting benefits. There are increases from time to time, but only as much as they have to pay to keep their employees.
b) subcontracting work so that business is paying wages, but not paying for any benefits.
c) moving production to foreign countries where the wages are much, much lower, the regulations regarding safe working conditions are non-existent, and there are zero benefits.

3. Privatized Social Security.

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So far, social security has not been privatized, but had it been, all citizens would have their social security dollars invested in companies that now are dropping like stones, and requiring government to bail them out by just paying off their debts.

I have no education to qualify my opinion, but I do have a unqualified opinion: privatization is rarely the answer. For some of us short-sighted people, our only income after we are too old to work, is going to be social security, and that is something that can’t be gambled with in the stock market.

5. No National Health care.

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As badly as I feel it is needed, it seems likely that this economic disaster we are having right now will be the excuse for postponing enacting a National Health care system.

The problem is, in my unqualified opinion, mostly the fault of the Republican political philosophy, but this mess will now be the reason for delaying National Health Insurance.

Living in a society has benefits, but it also has costs. It is a benefit when we want police protection because if everyone is required to pay in a little we can hire people to protect us from criminals. Of course, we could all carry guns, and sticks and when criminals mess with us, we could be on our own and handle that problem by our individual little self. Sometimes things would work out great for the innocent. Other times the criminals might come out on top.

Living in society means that we can require everyone to pay in and have fire protection. No longer is a house fire solely the responsibility of the homeowner. We don’t have to rely on a bucket to save our home. We paid in and now everyone’s home has protection.

In my unqualified opinion National Health Care is like that. If we all are required to chip in, then when people are sick, they can get treatment. A republican would say, “Why should I have to pay in, if the people using the National Health System are sick because of their own stupid life-style? If they smoke, or have unprotected sex, why should the rest of us have to support that?

There is some logic to train of thought, except people make bad choices. If we lived alone in a wilderness, then yes, a bad choice is your own fault, and if you die its your own fault. But in a society, what do we do? Let people die of treatable diseases? What about burying them? If they have no money for the funeral, what do we do, just let them lay where they died until the body rots away and turns into dust? Society comes with benefits, but it also comes with costs.

I remember seeing a picture in a National Geography magazine of someone walking in the streets of some third world country, passing a dead body in the street, and the cutline to that picture said that people won’t look at a dead body on the streets for fear they might be required to bury that person.

The path of a Republican philosophy leads to us letting the poor, and the stupid, and the people with bad luck just suffer the consequences, and unless their family wants to care for them we will just let them die in the streets.

I think living in a society requires us to pay in some of our income to provide basic services to all of society. People with no kids would still pay taxes to provide children with an education. We need to provide all of society with cops, firemen, national defense, child protective services, health care, roads, bridges, clean water, and on and on it goes. The benefits of society have a cost, and the cost is worth it.

I find it interesting that this no taxes, no regulations stuff of the Republicans has at least temporarily disappeared now that the economy is in such trouble. Suddenly our Republican President is all for using tax money to bail out companies that would not be in trouble now had there been adequate regulations in place. McCain, who things regulations are the problem, and that the solution to our problems is to remove the regulations and let free business thrive, is now calling for more regulations. The regulations are often a pain in the ass, but they are there to protect society.

I live in society. I support the concept that Government is needed to keep society functioning properly. I don’t like taxes, but I am willing to be taxed if it means that the benefits possible from society are available to me, and to everyone. That is why I’m a democrat. I’m worried that not enough people share my views.

I Faked Being OK – But I’m Miles From OK

Yesterday I wrote about stress. I write like I’m some teacher/expert sharing my wisdom and sagacity, but the truth is, I was just thinking about stress because I was so stressed out. I had a job interview yesterday and I was really and truly stressed.

I’m remember a host of sayings right now:

Fake it ‘til you make it.
I’m preaching to myself.
When I point a finger at you, there are three of those fingers pointing back at me.

I don’t want to be a fake, but I am a fake. The difference is that I’m fakin’ it, and still not makin’ it. The thing is, what else am I to do? I am alive. If I want to continue to live, I need to have certain essentials (food, clothing, and shelter) and I don’t get that stuff without working, and, at this point in time, I’m applying for jobs, which require interviews, and now I’m back to faking being OK. I mean, who is going to hire someone who is not OK? Would you? I know I wouldn’t.

But the word fake has such negative connotations associated with it.

So why do I write these articles like I know what the hell I’m talking about?

Because I’m thinking, and I think best when I write, and I won’t write without the idea that maybe someone is going to read what I write, and therefore, what I write ought to be written in a way that would make it palatable to readers.

I’m not tightly wrapped, but I want to be tightly wrapped. How am I suppose to wrap myself up, and do I dare conclude the wrapping with a bow?

Here is a quote to consider:

If you haven't got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking. ~Victoria Adams, also commonly known as Posh Spice

Ole Posh Spice makes an important point here. She advocates both faking it, and practice. The point is that the fake it ‘til ya make it part only works with the practice part.

So when I fake it, for a job interview, it is only going to work for me if I practice.

I’m a fake. I accept that. Here is how it works in my life: Let us say that I want to be more organized. You can believe me, my wife, my son, and everyone who knows me; I am NOT organized. So I will fake it.

I go to Office Depot and buy a pocket calender and then I start filling in the squares with appointments.

Next I set some rules for myself. I put my calender in one of the shoes I’m going to wear tomorrow. Then, when I go to put my shoes on, I pick out the calender, and as long as it is in my hand, I check my calender.

When the phone rings, before I pick up the phone I pick up the calender and a pen. When I say hello, I will have the calender open and the pen ready to jot down information.

Am I organized now? No. I’m just faking being organized. The thing is, if I do what Posh Spice says, IF I practice the fake, then, eventually, over time, I actually will become more organized.

Maybe another way to look at it is to say that my FAKE is really just a GOAL. Having a goal is part of a process. You work towards a goal, and as you work toward it, you will have errors, mistakes, false starts, set backs, and gradual progress. When I fake it, I am changing myself.

Words matter. The word FAKE implies so much negative that it is the wrong word to apply to one’s self unless your SELF is wanting to feel all negative. Pretending sounds a little better.

To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend. ~Jacques Derrida

Practice is a better word than pretend.

It may take practice to think more positively and more compassionately, but just as you must train a puppy to behave the way you want it to, you must train your mind to behave itself. Otherwise, like the puppy, your mind will just make a lot of messes. ~Tom Barrett

Possessed and Pressed by Stress

Here is a real life example.

I went to work, I made my To Do list, prioritized that list estimated the time each task would take to complete, and I have a plan to get everything done in a timely matter, when I got a call and a foster mother who had 5 children from the same family, demanded that I come get the children and get them out of her house.

Now normally my first job would be to spend some time with that foster mom trying to figure out why she is making this demand, and can I fix her problem without having to move the kids, OR see if I can get her to give me some time to accomplish this relocation of the children. The problem is that this problem was not on my To Do list and it is of the highest priority.

Suddenly I am extraordinarily stressed. With the shortage of placements, it is difficult to find a bed for one foster child. To have five foster children all needing placement at the same time, and as soon as is possible, is very, very difficult to accomplish.

Now, just consider this set-up [which really happened to me] as a blank, and fill that blank with your own memory of a time of extraordinary stress. Why are we stressed?

We fear breaking mama’s rules:

There is, inside of most of us, certain rules that were inculcated, hammered, pounded into us by mama, or dad, or who ever parented us. Childhood is a time of rules, and among all the rules there is always, without exception, a collection of rules about getting stuff done, and being on time. When I was a kid, things were probably not as bad as I remember, but in my memory, parental orders were to be carried out immediately. Curfews were adhered to perfectly. Breaking one of those parental rules resulted in punishment. My mother never chewed my ass off, but she would chew all around it and let it just fall off.

I think my stress comes from the rules that remain in my subconscious mind. If the rules are really in the subconscious mind wouldn’t that mean that I would be functioning without being conscious of those subconscious rules?

When I observe myself, I find that I have certain ritual behaviors and when anyone violates those rituals I get upset, and when I myself violate my habitual behaviors I am incensed, stressed, pissed, livid, and perhaps a little crazy.

Subconscious problems cannot be addressed until they become conscious problems. How do you do that?

You look at the patterns in your behaviors. If I have ritual behaviors that is, by definition pattern behavior. Are there things I do consistently, and if the pattern is changed, if the rituals are violated, then I get tense, and that tense-ness is a clue that a pattern has been broken.

In my own struggles with depression, struggles that have been going on for fifty years, I have been irritated by psychotherapies tendency to dwell on the sources of my emotional problems, rather than focusing on what to do to stop having these emotional problems. Of course, I am not a psychotherapist, and so absolutely no one should take mental health advice from me. Nevertheless, I reluctantly agree that sometimes you can’t fix the problems you have NOW, unless you realize where the problems are coming from, and often the problems are coming from your childhood.

Stress comes when stressors collide. Stress, in me, comes when important stuff is overwhelmed by less important, or unimportant, tedious, irrelevant intruding stuff. Sometimes everything you do is important. Sometimes important stuff is intruded upon by other important stuff. I get upset and stressed out even when everything is important, but I suffer in the order that the deadlines line up. Whatever is due first bothers me first, and then the next thing, and the next.

I’m not schizophrenic, and I don’t hear voices, but there is a constant narrative going on in my mind, a stream of consciousness, a commentary on what I do, and what is done to me, or around me. That voice often reminds me of the voices of my aggravated parents. Sometimes I get angry with myself, and start chewing myself out, criticizing myself, belittling myself, and when I stop to analyze what I am saying, it is criticism that is phrased exactly the way my parents criticized me when I was a kid.

When I think about it, I wonder, why would I feel stress. So what if everything that has to be done is not done. I can’t do everything. No one can do everything. There will always be more stuff that needs to be done, than can actually be done.

So why do I get upset when I can’t do everything that has to be done? We all have to admit that sometimes we just have to not get some stuff done, so why stress?

I could be fussed at.
I could be punished by:
a written reprimand,
a plan for Improvement and frequent performance assessments
I could be fired.

So what are stressed out dudes or dudettes to do?

Stop believing that stress can be eliminated

When I am suffering with stressors I yearn for relief, but there will never, ever be total relief from stress, and in reality we don’t even want that to happen.

Stress is the reason we take action. Without stress, we have no motivation to solve problems. We no longer live in caves, and eat raw meat because we had problems with lodging and food supplies, and the stress of not having those essentials lead to the advances we enjoy today.

Stress can be fun.

Riding a roller coaster, getting married, having a baby are all stressful events, but they can be deeply fulfilling parts of our life.

Take Control

Part of the pain we experience from stress is that we feel helpless in the face of the forces pressing in on us. Here are some ways I try to take control:

Pare down the To Do list –

When you have a To Do list and you have prioritized that list, the mind says, OK, that’s that. Now let’s get busy and knock this stuff out.” When new To Do’s show up, you have to re-prioritize. Sometimes what had to be done to day, can clearly be done tomorrow. Since no one can do everything that needs to be done, you just have to shorten the list of what there is To Do. Your must’s can turn into shoulds, and your shoulds, can be turned into your it’d-be-nice-buts-it’ll-have-to-waits.

Start saying “no” –

Anyone can say the word NO, but it is hard to tell someone asking you to do something that you just don’t have time to do that. If the request, or the demand is coming from a supervisor, then saying NO gets harder to do, but there are times it must be done. You may have to negotiate. There are times when you have to list all your To Dos for the boss, and ask which ones they want you to do, and which one’s can wait. Maybe the boss will delegate some of those To Do’s to someone else. The point is to know your limits and stick to them. When you say YES to more stuff than you can realistically handle is a surefire recipe for stress, and failure. Eventually, if you don’t say NO you will have so much to do, that some stuff will just fail to get done.
Don’t you think the boss, or the friend, or the spouse would prefer a NO to a YES that ends up being a TOO LATE?

Take as much control of your environment as possible –

If a cluttered desk makes you feel helpless, then de-clutter. If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take the longer scenic route.

Job Interview Part II Do You Have Any Questions for Us?

In my last interview I was just not prepared. When the hiring team asked me if I had any questions, I could not think of a single question.

How did it look, having a guy interviewing for a job and not having one single question to ask about the job or their hiring process? If you’re applying for a job and you have no questions, how much initiative have you got if you can’t even think of a single question?
Here are some possible questions and why they might be important.
What are the primary duties of this position?

Even when this question is answered you STILL don’t really know what the job is going to be like or what you are going to have to do, until you actually have the job. The more you know about the job, the better it is. Think of the job interview as a two way street. They are interviewing you, and you are interviewing them. It is easy to be so desperate for a job that you think, “I’ll take anything, and adjust to it no matter how bad it might turn out to be,” but that is short-sighted. Why be miserable? We spend much of our life at work, so shouldn’t we seek the best job fit possible? :Like getting married, it is better to break-up before the wedding than to have to go through the pain of divorce. Turning down a job is the better choice.

What do you consider the most important skills or traits for someone in this position?

The answer to this question enables to you decide for yourself if you have the skills or traits, without having to reveal your doubts to the interview team. You don’t have to be a perfect fit for a job, but you ought to have a job you know you can grow into.

How would you describe a typical day in this position?

Getting the big duties does not tell you about the day to day little, yet essential stuff involved with the job. Listen to how they answer. Where do they hesitate. Where are their answers more careful, or delicate?

What is the standard schedule for this position?

Don’t you want to know when you’re suppose to be at work, and how late you will be there? I once took a job, and as I walked out I asked when I was suppose to show up and found out I was expected to be there by 7 am. I’d already said yes, but getting there by 7 am meant I had to leave the house by 6 am, which meant I had to be out of the bed by 5 am. This question matters.

Why are you looking to fill this position?

I want to know if the position is being added (showing expansion and growth) or if there is big turn-over. If there is a lot of turn-over, is it because there is something intolerable about the job or the work place?

How would you describe your management style?

Listen carefully, because if they like you, they don’t want to scare you off. There may be a very interesting verbal dance following this question. Do they want people that challenge them, question their decisions, or do they want automatons that do as they say (the ole my way or the highway style).

What are the short and long-term goals for this position?

The company might be in some sort of down turn, or a financial crisis, or taking on a new client, or overcoming some recent fiasco. But once the problems are resolved there may be some goal that would be just wonderful. You might be willing to take on a difficult challenge knowing that eventually you are going to have a wonderful long-term working situation.

Do you expect significant organizational changes in the near future?

This question is seeking to find out if the job you are seeking is going to be there for six months, or not. I once took a job with the State of Florida, and during the training seminar I learned that the State was going to privatize the job, and my position was set to eventually be phased out. Wish I’d known that before I took the job.

What are the prospects for advancement in this position?

Obvious. If advancement is in the picture, you might be willing to start with fewer benefits, or lower pay knowing that better things are coming your way.

What are the next steps in the hiring process?

I want to know, before I leave the interview when they expect to filled the job, and will they let me know their decision if I am not selected. If selected when would I start? Is there a training period that I go through and where does that take place, and how long is the training, and on and on it goes.

Preparing for a Job Interview Part I

I am interviewing for a job tomorrow, so the purpose of my of this article is to organize my thoughts and prepare for the interview.

It may sound good to go into the interview without prepared answers thinking, probably, that if you prepare your answers will be stiff and sound rehearsed, and if you just “wing it” your answers will sound natural, and present the real you, but I am afraid that may not be the way to look at it.

Maybe it is not so bad to sound a little rehearsed and overly prepared. Maybe that slight stiffness will send the message that the job mattered to you enough that you did prepare. Someone who cares about how they present themselves must be more valuable than someone who “wings it.” The “wing it” person may come off caviler, egocentric, narcissistic, conceited, and just a big ole full-of-‘m-self blowhard.

Now I have already interviewed once since moving to Oklahoma City. I had applied for a day before our horrible car accident, so when I went to the interview I was still a little rattled. I did not prepare. When they asked if I had any questions I said no. And, by the way, I was not selected for the job.

One of the advantages of interviewing for a job and not getting picked is that you sort of get an idea what to expect. In my case, I am interviewing tomorrow for the same job as the one I’d interviewed for earlier. It is in a different office, but it is the same job title, and job description. Since it is a job with the State of Oklahoma, and they probably have trainings and workshop/seminars on how to hire, so I think I can expect exactly the same questions I got the last time.

The trend lately seems to be that when you go to an interview you sit in “the hot seat” at the end of a conference table, and there are three or four people sitting around the table and they all take turns asking you questions.. No matter what job you are interviewing for, there are some general questions that show up often in these situations. It is a good idea to anticipate the questions because you can prepare to answer them ahead of time. It is hard to be surprised by stuff you expect.

Commonly asked questions:

• What are your major strengths?

It is hard to brag on one’s self, and not sound like a braggart, but that is the task here. Focus on your job accomplishments that apply towards the job you are seeking. Don’t lie. Be selective in the things you reveal. Don’t answer questions that were not asked.

o I care about doing things right, and doing things on time.
o I am supportive of co-workers, and easy to get along with.

What do you consider to be your major weaknesses?

It amazes me that people ask this question. It amazes me more that some people, including me, have told true weaknesses that make me, and make us un-hirable.

o What I want to say is: My weakness is that put the job first over me.
o The job is constantly on my mind, and I am always problems solving even when I’m suppose to be saying my prayers at church.

In stead of telling some stupid lie, I plan to tell a story about the time I got this kid out of a mental institution because I thought he had been improperly placed. I interviewed this foster kid who said he had threatened his foster mother and claimed to hear voices to get out of that placement. He said he had been asking his case worker for a year to move him, and was being ignored, so he just made that stuff up hoping that it would get him out.

I should have asked more questions. I should have talked to the case manager. I did talk to the foster mother, and she supported what the kid said. So I went to the wall, did battle in court advocating that this young man be released, and we won.

Then two weeks later the kid took a machete, walked to the hospital, was surrounded by police, guns drawn, yelling at him to drop the weapon, and he was screaming at them, “Shoot, shoot! Kill me.”

My weakness was in being too trusting, and not asking enough probing questions. This incident has helped me improve on my interview techniques, and to be more skeptical of the answers, but I need to remember that my natural tendency to want to believe people has to be tempered by a premeditated skepticism.

• How do you organize yourself?

I was asked this question a couple of different ways, at that last interview, and I felt I could have answered it better. Next time my answer will include the following:

o I make a daily To Do list, and prioritize at the start of my day.
o I regularly clear out the clutter. I feel less stress, and think clearer when I eliminate the clutter.
o Know when to combine tasks.
o Know when to eliminate task, no one can do everything. When you prioritize you may find that some tasks are so important that other tasks may have to be put off, or even completed late. It isn’t what you want, but it is part of responsible decision making.

• I notice there are gaps in your job history. Can you explain the gaps.

This is a minefield. There is no secret answer that will defuse the question. Remember what they said about politicians caught having affairs. It is better to just admit it, than to lie, and be discovered as a liar later. Just tell the interview team, or the employer, as objectively and candidly as possible, your view of what happened. If you lie, you will be fired once the lie is found out, so it is just better not to get the job than to be fired and then have another uncomfortable question to answer in your next job interview.

This sounds easier than it is. The difficulty comes from the fact that when you lose a job, most of the time, it is not over something simple, it is over something complicated. There are a multitude of reasons why people get fired. There may be a long set up needed to really understand what happened. One thing you can try is giving a brief answer [We had a conflict over a particular case, and my supervisor disagreed with me, and felt our value differences were so great that it was not in the interest of either one of us for me to continue there. If you would like a more detailed explanation I will be happy to share it, but it is somewhat complicated]. The only certain advice is, "don't lie about it!"

Include in your answer information that indicate your objectivity. Be objective, don’t bash the last boss, or spend a lot of time placing blame because it always sounds like you are avoiding blame [blame shifting.] Remember, and say that not every job is perfect for every employee, and while you had a conflict in that particular job, you have had a long work history, and it had never happened before, and has not happened since.

Remember that firings usually involve personality conflicts, performance issues, or sometimes a combination of both. Sometimes a person is fired because there was a big mess up on a case, or project, and someone has to be blamed and eliminated for management to look like they are being proactive and redressing the weaknesses that may have contributed to the failure. Anyone who has worked for any length of time knows of people who “got blamed” for some fiasco for which they were not the blame. It happens. It that is what happened to you, then tell the story in such a way that the unfairness is obvious without you having to say, “it wasn’t my fault.”

Avoid This

Avoid saying, "It was all their fault. I was a perfect employee every day, and I was an outstanding performer in every aspect of my job. They were totally wrong to fire me!" Even if it is true, you can be certain that they are not going to believe it, and who is going to hire someone when they are pretty dang sure you are telling lies in the interview? There is an old saying that there are two sides to everything. Maybe, in your one case, there was only one side, but everyone else on earth believes there are at least two sides, and so just avoid claiming that you are a totally innocent victim and the last employer was made up of big ole liars that blamed you for something you didn’t do.

What Did You Learn?

To minimize the potential damage of being fired, always, always, always include something about what you learned from that situation, how it changed you for the better, how it has made you a better employee, and what you have gained in the areas of self-knowledge, increased job skills, and in general, just how you got wiser from what happened.

Who can’t improve? Everyone has room for improvement. Getting fired isn't the sin, not learning anything from it might not be a sin, but it is also no reason for a new employer to consider hiring you. Employers want employees that can learn from their mistakes and the bumps of life.

• What did you like least about your last job?

If you pick something that is crucial to the new job, you just lost the interview. If you say you didn’t like some of the way they required you to account for your time, add that you filled out the time sheets, you were rarely ever late, and that you did what was required, but you just didn’t like the chore when it conflicted with the more critical parts of the job. You prefer to focus on the case, but that you understand that accountability is essential. It is important that you communicate that you can do the aggravating, or boring parts of the job, that everything is not going to be exciting, and you understand that a job includes the whole package, the interesting stuff, and the mundane stuff.

The point is to just prepare answers for the common questions. Expect to be asked and have some idea what you are going to say. Other common questions may include the following:

• What did you like most about your last job? Or why did you leave your last job?
• How would your coworkers describe you?
• How do you manage multiple tasks/projects? Please give an example.
• How do you deal with stress and/or deadlines? Please give an example.
• Do you prefer to work independently or within a team?
• Why should I hire you?