I found a Republican loving satire on the Internet and felt moved to reply to it. The satire is in bold blue type.

I Am Voting Democrat Because ...

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This ain't hell but you can see it from here ^ August 13, 2008
Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 1:43:54 PM by Zakeet

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I’m voting Democrat because: I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

Wrong! Democrats don’t believe they will do a better job of spending your money than you would. Democrats believe that most of us will not spend ANY of our money to help support the costs of our society.

I’m voting Democrat because: I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

This is just stupid. The Constitution built within itself regulations to prevent it from being changed at the whim of a few elitist liberals, or elitist conservatives, or elitist communists, or elitist fascists. Two-thirds of the states have to ratify any proposed change to the constitution. So this attempt at satire is just based on a big ole fear mongering lie.

I’m voting Democrat because: I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

Does the percentage of profit really matter when Exxon’s $40.6 billion profit in 2007 is roughly equal to receiving “$30 for every person in China and $132 for every U.S. resident?” Another way of looking at it is that Exxon made $77,245 per minute in 2007—that’s more money generated per minute than 70 percent of Americans earned all year, Exxon Mobil earned more than $1,287 of profit for every second of 2007. Profit is the point, yes, and business must make profit, but there are factors that, in my opinion, make this level of profit obscene.

I’m voting Democrat because: I believe that paying $4.00 a gallon or more is no reason to drill for the mountain of oil we are sitting on in THIS country. We wouldn’t want to have to move a couple of Polar bears now would we?

This is sarcasm that over-simplifies the problem. Drill. It is fine to drill. But are Republicans saying we should drill at all costs? Polar bears are endanger and could go extinct. Does that matter? Is cheap oil worth spoiling pristine areas that have been protected for future generations? Is there anything on earth worth more than drilling for oil? There are many, including John McCain, that admit that drilling is not going to lower the cost of gas any time soon, probably never, and even if it did, it might not have an impact for 10 years.

I’m voting Democrat because: when we pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re good people.

This is a sad attempt at humor. What we have done in Iraq is created more terrorists. I have seen news stories where US forces enter a house they had just blasted with bombs and bullets, and as they go from room to room we see dead adults, and a boy sitting in a corner clutching his knees and weeping with terror. Now how do you think that kid is going to feel about the US when he grows up? How would we feel if we had experienced what he experienced?

I think, when we leave Iraq we are going to leave hundreds of thousands of people who will hate the US for the rest of their lives, and will take any and every opportunity to hurt us. I also think that the longer we stay there the more we will spread that animosity toward the US. We never should have gone there.

A military response is not right for every problem or issue that takes place on this earth. Many Americans feel that China should free Tibet and that what China does in Tibet is illegal under the International Rule of Law, but we also know that to try to force human rights or political independence in Tibet would result in a war that would be too costly in human life, and national income to risk taking it on. We just should not go to war any time we see an oppressive foreign leader.

I’m voting Democrat because: I like it when planes fly into buildings full of civilians. I want to see more of that.

Give me a F@#kin’ break. No one wants to see anything like 9-11 happening ever again, and to claim Democrats do want to see such a thing is just a disingenuous lie.

I’m voting Democrat because: I don’t want a stimulus check to spend. Let the government spend it for me.

There are benefits and advantages we get from living in a society, but those things are not free. We have roads, bridges, police, firemen, a military, and child protective services because all of us pay in some of our money to provide benefits to every member of that society. Republicans tend to believe that the benefits should be reduced to the bare minimum and the bill should be paid by the poor and middle class. Democrats believe the benefits should be sufficient to the needs of society, and the ticket should be paid by everyone, but that the richest among us should be taxed more than the poorest among us. To a Republican, that sounds horrible. To a Democrat that sounds reasonable.

I’m voting Democrat because: I believe that when the terrorists don’t have to hide from us over there; when they come over here I don’t want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.

Most people thing the right to own a gun is guaranteed by the Second Amendment: The Right to keep and bear arms. The test actually said:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Is that language saying we have the right to an armed Militia to protect a free state, or that anybody and everybody has the right to own weapons? The matter is certainly open to debate. Either way, however, the security of a free State is the purpose of this amendment. Democrats do not support the elimination of security.

While some Democrats support gun control laws, and some support an outright ban on hand-guns being freely available to citizens, there are other Democrats that are support lifting all restrictions on gun ownership. I believe the constitution supported the right for a local militia to have weapons, and is silent as to the average citizen owning a gun.

I’m voting Democrat because: I believe that churches should only be allowed for political speeches.

Democrats started their convention with prayer. Democrats are made up of people, and some of those people are highly religious, and some are not. Hard as it may be for some Republicans to believe, there are actually some Republicans who are not religious, some are actually gay, and some support abortion.