Don't Say YES to a Job where you don't Fit

My job interview, on Monday, was for a job as a Child Support Enforcement I job. This is the job I want. They should make their selection by Tuesday evening (today).

If I drew a line down the center of the page, labeled each column pro or con I would have lots of stuff on the pro side and only one word on the con side. The only con I have right now is that it is something new so it is CHANGE. Surely there are tons of other things that are cons about the job, but I haven’t worked there yet and can’t know what they are, until I know what they are, you know?

I have an interview at 9:30 am this morning, and another tomorrow at 10:30.

I am worried. In Oklahoma we might call it stewin’ in my own juices. Our money is running out. Kathie is a month or two (or three) from being OK enough to even look for work. If I’m going to be responsible, I am going to have to work, and find work soon.

This desperation for a paycheck puts me in a position of wanting a job so badly that I will accept the job I am offered, even if it is a bad choice. You have that ole bird in the hand being worth more than two in a bush thing. If I’m offered a job, what if the good job is not offered. I know, this evening, if it gets past 7 pm and I’ve not gotten a call from yesterday’s hiring officer, that I was not picked. Not picked is rejected.

Another worry is that I will be selected for a Social Services I job, because it is child abuse case manager work and I have done that before. But it is hard, unpleasant work. Child Abuse Case Management puts me on the road constantly, and the roads in Oklahoma City are as congested as a cat owning allergic asthmatic’s lungs. I’ve already had a bad car accident here, so not driving hundreds of miles each week appeals to me. Not working late, dragging my tail in after 9 pm three of four nights a week appeals to me. Not being in high crime neighborhoods after dark appeals to me (an at this latitude, in the winter, it is dark by the time people get off work at 4:30 or 5 pm..)

1. If there is anything that seems off in the interview, do not say YES.

If you don't get along with a potential boss during an interview, why risk a YES and be miserable later, and looking for a job AGAIN?. In some of the job interviews I’ve had the lead attorney (usually the real boss in the room) has seemed a little like they ran out of Bran cereal about a week back, and now they are suffering the consequences. If the boss doesn’t seem to like you, doesn’t mean he won’t see your resume as being the reason to hire you, and later you and he or you and she may just never click. You can end up dreading every day you go to work, and even at the end of the day and weekends you won’t be better because you know you have to go back. So I should and you should use the interview to explore whether the potential boss is really interested in what you have to say and understands your values, what’s important to you.

2. Stop worrying about being hired.

So I say to myself, “That’s easy for you to say, you are not running out of money.”

“I am too running out of money,” I say to me.

The point is that just wanting to get a job makes us talk ourselves into a we know is not right for us, and could admit that the job is not right for us, if we were not obsessing over getting hired. On the drive to the interview I will keep saying to myself, “It doesn’t have to be THIS job. There are lots of jobs available to me. I don’t have to take a job if the vibrations are negative.”

3. Decide what you want first.

Make a list of what's most important to you before going into an interview. "In my case, getting off at 5 or 6 and not driving are big important traits I want in a job. I want a job that uses some of the skills I think I have: typing, writing, interviewing people, assessing risk, speaking. If accounting is not on that list, but it turns up in the job description of a job you have applied for, then don’t take that job.

4. If you feel you have to cave in, then set a timetable as soon as you know it was a pressured choice and a bad fit for you.

In the Great Depression people who were high powered bankers were out digging ditches, or loading trucks for 25 cents a day. There are times when just taking a job, any job offered, is unavoidable – I need a paycheck, and if I am really at that rock-and-a-hard-place place, then yes, I’ll take any job offered, but I can also set myself a time certain when I will move on. I will continue looking for the right job for me. Consider the wrong job to be an interim job, and then stick to that mindset. I really hated teaching school and yet I taught school for 18 years because I just didn’t have the resolve to find something else. So if I set a job changing deadline, or if you have such a time certain, then be ready to start job hunting just as soon as that self imposed time certain gets close. –And THIS TIME, since I’ll have a job, I can afford to look until I find the right job. I can take the time to be picky, methodical, and thorough

5. Be honest.

I don’t mean to not misrepresent your job history, or skills, I mean be who you really are when you go to an interview. Yes, we all want to put that best foot forward when we interview, but if I pretend to be a political conservative, or a tough guy with difficult people, then even if I can sustain that act I am going to be miserable. I’m politically liberal. I don’t like confrontations, and even if I handle them right, it does internal damage to my mind. I once took a job with some religious fanatic that wanted us all to come into his office early, before we were even required to be at work, and spend 45 minutes in prayer.

This boss was just over the top. He would ask, “How are you today?”

I would say, “Fine.”

Then he would shoot back, “Well you ought to be fine because Jesus loves you.”

I can fake being that religious kind of guy, but I’m not that kind of guy, and I was miserable every time we got in that prayer chamber.

In an interview I don’t have to just spill my guts about all my little quirks and flaws, but I need to be comfortable, and if the way I am is not what they want, then I want them to know that and when I don’t get hired, well, I want to think, “I dodged a bullet.”