Job Hunting Anxiety

I’m looking for work. I left a job in Lakeland Florida, moved back to Oklahoma City, to be closer to family, and the third day here we were in a terrible car accident. I had to take several weeks off just to care for my injured wife, and slowly, what little money we had has ebbed away like morning dew as the summer sun gears up for a burning afternoon. Now my wife is better, and able to do more for herself, so it is time for me to get a job.

I have four job interviews lined up now, and I am now faced with two major fears.

1. I’m afraid I will not be hired.

2. I’m afraid I will be hired.

My Fear of Not Being Hired

To not be hired means I have been rejected, and rejection is not something I have a history of coping well with, at least the past. There may be a lot of reasons why a person is not hired, and many of those reasons will have little to nothing to do with the applicant’s deficits, so rejection should be no big deal.

Failing to be selected for a job does not make me a failure.

Remember that failure is an event, not a person. ~Zig Ziglar

Unless there is only one applicant, whenever a job is filled a lot of job seekers will find they failed to get the job. Getting the job may have more to do with something like driving distance to work, or the applicant attending the same Alma Mata the hiring officer. Assume that there is one job and three people who are all equally qualified for the job. The hiring team can only pick one, and yet all three are qualified. Of course the reason one person is picked over the other two is going to be based upon something vague and probably superfluous. If I fail to be hired, my intention is to assume I was as qualified as the applicant they selected, but that there was some silly something that caused them to pick that other person. Maybe they flipped a coin.

My Fear of Being Hired

It is fear of being hired that surprises me. Why am I afraid?

a) Because I am applying for child protective services jobs. I know that area of employment well. It involves long hours, lots of driving, and dealing closely with angry people, many of whom are guilty of abusing their children. If I get the job, I get to resume my work with people who are often difficult and unpleasant to work with, and what is at stake is the safety of children, the preservation or desolation of a family, and mistakes are often life and death matters.

b) I have many needs at home, and working will conflict with those obligations, or will, at the very least be difficult to juggle creating added stress to an already stress filled life.
The problem with fearing the anxiety of being hired and/or not being hired is something I have grown curious about and this is what I think I’ve figured out:

1. Just because I feel anxious doesn’t mean it is bad.

It is possible for anxiety to unnerve and petrify me, but it is also possible that anxiety can energize me. One of the things about change is that it very often hurts when it is forced on, but it is pleasant, exciting, and invigorating when the change is implemented by you. Anxiety could urges me to prepare for my interviews. Anxiety might motivates me to do my best, and to take nothing for granted and to be just a little more eager and aggressive, and that extra oomph just might give me the edge over my competition.

2. Expect anxiety, and you won’t be surprised by anxiety.

If I expect to be anxious, then I can be on the look-out for the bastard, and when it shows up, I can use it as described in number 1 above. Instead of fearing anxiety, see it as a sensation that can have either a positive OR a negative impact on you, and the factor that makes it positive or negative is your attitude.

3. Talk to your anxiety.

There is a story about how the Buddha responded to seeing Mara. Mara is the personification of evil, or delusions such as fear, anxiety, craving. When Mara appeared the Buddha didn't condemn him or try to banish him. The Buddha simply said, "I see you Mara." and then invited Mara to sit and have tea. With that, Mara disappeared. The point [one of the many points] of the story is that once we see something clearly, it ceases to have power over us.

Anxiety cannot be permanently eliminated from our life, but it can be seized when it shows up, and used to your advantage.