Be curious

about that.

~ Dr. Frank Shultz

Because we assume that what is going on inside of our SELF is real, we are not often curious about why we are feeling and thinking what we think and feel. For example: If you get a dun letter in the mail, for a bill you have already paid, and you assume that the dun letter and the check past one another in the mail, but you are angry, you assume that you are mad because you got dunned – RIGHT? We assume we are mad because we got dunned, and therefore, there is no need to be curious about why we feel something, when we assume we already know why we are pissed off. This makes sense, doesn’t it?

No matter how we get trapped, our usual reaction is not to become curious about what is happening. ~Pema Chodron

The why question is rarely good when applied to other people, because it makes other folks defensive, but the question why is appropriate when contemplating your own actions, thoughts and feelings, for the very same reason. When I ask myself WHY I get defensive, and when I get defensive, I want to know why I’m reacting that way.

We can’t accept ignorance as an excuse. . . . asking the question, no matter how difficult, is our responsibility. Questioning is how we master the truth. ~Angel Kyodo Williams

Why does a dun letter upset me? Because I paid the bill? No. If that were the reason, the fact that the check is already in the mail and may have already been received, and the concern of our creditor has already been redressed, so my upset-ness is for some other reason. I am afraid that a late payment may affect my credit rating. Why is that a problem for me? Because I am afraid that if I have a bad credit rating and have an emergency financial need I might not be able to get the money I need and that I will suffer. I am afraid that other people will think I’m unreliable, shiftless, inept, bad with money, careless, a freeloader, a bum.

We have two alternatives: either we question our beliefs – or we don’t. ~Pema Chodron

It is better to question our belief.

. . . understanding will guard you. Proverbs 2:11

Why does what other people think about me upset me? Because I may need help from other people and they will deny me that help because they have a low opinion of me, and therefore, I will suffer.

No matter how I look at it, if I follow my Why I end up with fear. I am angry because I am afraid. And fear is anticipated pain. I want to avoid pain, avoid suffering, avoid want, loss, need, loneliness, and death.

The problem is not that there are problems, the problem is. . . thinking that having problems is a problem. ~Dr. Theodore Rubin

Nothing we do is going to eliminate the suffering that is associated with life. On the other hand, nothing we do is going to eliminate the joy that is associated with life. There is cold and warmth, darkness and light, joy, and pain. We need it all. Suffering can be the sign that guides us to joy. Death can be the truth that allows us to have a full and meaningful life. Without shadows the light is blinding.

Suffering begins to dissolve when we can question the belief or the hope that there’s anywhere to hide. ~Pema Chodron

What I find, in my own meditation and contemplation is that my anger, depression, frustration, and fear come from anticipating some form of future pain. You may never know this, without being willing to question what you feel, and why you are reacting the ways you react. If our problems right now come from our anticipation of pain and problems later, then at least one solution would be to live in the NOW and diminish your focus on future troubles.

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~Jesus, Matthew 6:34

Live in the now. Live in this moment. Live with a questioning mind. Instead of going with the flow ask yourself where does this flow come from, and if I surrendered to it, where is the flow heading?

So say to yourself, “Here I am, in the best way I can be at this moment.” And that’s all that should ever count. ~Angel Kyodo Williams