Life is not fair; get used to it. ~Bill Gates
Who has not uttered the words, “It’s not fair.” Maybe that is good. There was a quote from Hamlet where the melancholy prince said:
[Treat]. . . every man after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping? ~HAMLET /Shakespeare
Who has not uttered the words, “It’s not fair.” Maybe that is good. There was a quote from Hamlet where the melancholy prince said:
[Treat]. . . every man after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping? ~HAMLET /Shakespeare
The implication is that if life were fair we might have things a lot worse. Think of how many times you have exceeded the speed limit without getting a ticket. Some people drive drunk, and get home safely without hurting themselves, their car, or anyone else. Sometimes people betray a friend, and that friend never finds out. Sometimes getting what is unfair is exactly what you want.
Wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us, came because we actually deserve them? so now I take comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the Universe. ~Marcus Cole
But more often, when we say or think the phrase, this is Unfair, we mean that we did not get what we wanted and feel we deserve.
The concept of fair is a trigger for depression. If there is a fair, then there must be an unfair. If I’m treated unfairly, then I have a right, nay, an obligation to make things go from wrong to right, from unfair to fair.
So?
I’m just saying fairness is a trigger and when that trigger is pulled, depression is fired, and we and our family and friends and co-workers are hit by the ricochet of the jagged fragments of super-duper sadness.
Usually, we think that it is FAIR that we get the food, shelter, sex, and luxuries we want, and often we also think these deserved things should come to us when and where we want it, in unlimited amounts.
Most often, our thoughts of Unfairness come when we feel we have been denied something that we had a right to have. When I am wronged I am not just unhappy about how things have turned out, but my entire universe is out of balance. I get up a whole head of steam called righteous indignation. Behind every law suit, every slander, every squabble, and every war that has taken place you will find someone, or whole bunches of someone’s just oozing righteous indignation..
But more often, when we say or think the phrase, this is Unfair, we mean that we did not get what we wanted and feel we deserve.
The concept of fair is a trigger for depression. If there is a fair, then there must be an unfair. If I’m treated unfairly, then I have a right, nay, an obligation to make things go from wrong to right, from unfair to fair.
So?
I’m just saying fairness is a trigger and when that trigger is pulled, depression is fired, and we and our family and friends and co-workers are hit by the ricochet of the jagged fragments of super-duper sadness.
Usually, we think that it is FAIR that we get the food, shelter, sex, and luxuries we want, and often we also think these deserved things should come to us when and where we want it, in unlimited amounts.
Most often, our thoughts of Unfairness come when we feel we have been denied something that we had a right to have. When I am wronged I am not just unhappy about how things have turned out, but my entire universe is out of balance. I get up a whole head of steam called righteous indignation. Behind every law suit, every slander, every squabble, and every war that has taken place you will find someone, or whole bunches of someone’s just oozing righteous indignation..
Normally, we do not so much look at things as overlook them. ~.Alan Watts
QUESTION: “Fairness and unfairness do actually exist, don’t they dude?”
Yes, if you think so, and no if you just change the way you look at what happens. You see, for most of us, we just believe stuff, but believing is not the same thing as an actual measurable fact. If mommy cuts the doughnut in two pieces and divides it, and if I judges that their half, is a little bit bigger than my half, well, that’s unfair, and no unfairness can be allowed to go unchallenged. If I’ve been treated unfairly then I want that rectified as soon as possible and the costs or consequences be damned.
Have you ever heard of someone who sued another party, and ended up paying out everything they have in order to win, when, if they’d let it go they’d still be rich? Such people will often say they feel the law suit was necessary because they had been wronged? People will actually die in order to right wrongs and to re-establish fairness.
What’s fair about dying to make stuff fair?
What I’ve figured out is that as long as I believe in fairness I have a tendency to be obsesses by my righteous indignation, and I get all revved up to strike a blow to beat back the forces of that evil I call unfairness.
As long as I believe in I see myself in the center of all things and everything that happens is judged by how it affects me. The concept of fairness and unfairness are not just words, they are lenses that magnify the events of our life.
So what are you suppose to do? Be all wimpy, not stand up for your SELF, resign yourself to a life of resignation?
Not necessarily, although that is an option. If I let go of the concept that fairness exists and is deserved, I free myself from the burden of Unfairness. If Fairness and Unfairness do not exist then I am not wronged, I have not been wronged, I cannot be wronged, and the sense of WRONGNESS in my life does not exist.
OK, maybe there are times when responsible people have to stand up against the unfairness in their life and/or the life of those around them. A big strong man ought not to stand around and allow some slime-ball to abducting, rape, and kill some woman or child. To me it is OK to have a police force to protect people and property from other people who threaten. All I’m saying is that as long as I feel I’ve been treated unfairly, it seems to be a trigger of depression. Maybe each of us could or will face unfairness that absolutely must be redressed! If that happens, then open up a big ole can of whip-ass, and get to redressing stuff. But I need to know, and maybe you need to know, that the concept of fairness is a trigger for depression. If you get tired of being depressed maybe you should stop using unfairness as an excuse to stay miserable. Unfairness makes you a victim, and victims tend to stay victims.
If I see some unfair event as just something that happens and not as something personal, not as something unfair to me, I‘ll have the ability to rise above what happens. I am free from the emotions that grow like weeds in the nutrient rich dung of righteous indignation, and the flower beds of victim-hood..
Have you ever heard of someone who sued another party, and ended up paying out everything they have in order to win, when, if they’d let it go they’d still be rich? Such people will often say they feel the law suit was necessary because they had been wronged? People will actually die in order to right wrongs and to re-establish fairness.
What’s fair about dying to make stuff fair?
What I’ve figured out is that as long as I believe in fairness I have a tendency to be obsesses by my righteous indignation, and I get all revved up to strike a blow to beat back the forces of that evil I call unfairness.
As long as I believe in I see myself in the center of all things and everything that happens is judged by how it affects me. The concept of fairness and unfairness are not just words, they are lenses that magnify the events of our life.
So what are you suppose to do? Be all wimpy, not stand up for your SELF, resign yourself to a life of resignation?
Not necessarily, although that is an option. If I let go of the concept that fairness exists and is deserved, I free myself from the burden of Unfairness. If Fairness and Unfairness do not exist then I am not wronged, I have not been wronged, I cannot be wronged, and the sense of WRONGNESS in my life does not exist.
OK, maybe there are times when responsible people have to stand up against the unfairness in their life and/or the life of those around them. A big strong man ought not to stand around and allow some slime-ball to abducting, rape, and kill some woman or child. To me it is OK to have a police force to protect people and property from other people who threaten. All I’m saying is that as long as I feel I’ve been treated unfairly, it seems to be a trigger of depression. Maybe each of us could or will face unfairness that absolutely must be redressed! If that happens, then open up a big ole can of whip-ass, and get to redressing stuff. But I need to know, and maybe you need to know, that the concept of fairness is a trigger for depression. If you get tired of being depressed maybe you should stop using unfairness as an excuse to stay miserable. Unfairness makes you a victim, and victims tend to stay victims.
If I see some unfair event as just something that happens and not as something personal, not as something unfair to me, I‘ll have the ability to rise above what happens. I am free from the emotions that grow like weeds in the nutrient rich dung of righteous indignation, and the flower beds of victim-hood..
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