Problems = Challenges

View all problems as challenges. Look upon nativities that arise as opportunities to learn and to grow.Don't run from them, condemn yourself, or bury your burden in saintly silence. You have a problem? Great. More grist for the mill. Rejoice, dive in, and investigate. ~Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, "Mindfulness in Plain English"

After our recent car accident, I have had a problem with guilt. I got the ticket. I turned left, failing to yield, and now my wife is recuperating from her injuries, At times, watching her in pain, struggling to do the simplest of tasks, I let slip some comment about how much I regret that my driving error has caused her so much pain, cost us so much money, and is making it very difficult for us to get on our feet after this move to Oklahoma City.

Kathie will say, “Call Lili” [my recent therapist], or, “why don’t you make an appointment to see a shrink?”

She says this because I have had great struggles with depression in the past. At times, my struggles have been so great that it was actually a life and death problem for me.

I am not opposed to seeking a mental health professional, and I’m not ruling it out, not at all, however, I am postponing this action. I know that losing a job, moving, car accidents, and being suddenly the primary care giver taking on all the responsibilities that once were carried by Kathie, that all these things bring stress to my life, and would be a source of enormous for anyone. At this particular time, I don’t feel I have the money, or the time to be seeing a shrink. Also, I am actually doing OK. I would enjoy having someone to talk to about my problems, but as the quote states, my problems, are challenges that have an opportunity to teach me something that may indeed be very, very important.

I don’t really want these lessons. I don’t actually rejoice and dive in to my problems, but I am investigating.

The winds of grace are always blowing, but you have to raise the sail. ~Ramakrishna

Perhaps the biggest problems I have involve desire, and an excessive focus on the future. I want things to be different. I want Kathie to be able to move without pain. I want enough income to pay my bills with enough extra money to have some luxuries. I want to be working on my art stuff.

When we’re caught up with concerns about things that haven’t happened yet it’s hard to stay in touch with what’s important now. ~Elizabeth Hamilton

Too often my mind is elsewhere. You’ve heard people say, “Sorry, my mind was a million miles away.” What they mean is that they are focused either on the past or the future. The source of my misery comes from grieving my past and bemoaning a desired but unlikely future. If I’m at work my mind is at home. If I’m home my mind is at work. I’m not satisfied where I am because my mind and emotions are elsewhere.

In the search for a meaningful life, it is important for me to find meaning in the present. History does teach, yes, but despite what people say, history does not repeat. I can learn from my past, but nothing is gained from reliving my past except regrets, shame, and self-hatred.

What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general, but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment. ~Viktor Frankl